Laura and the day out to County Road

Today was a very special day and I am excited to share the details with you. I met with Sarah in the Mocha Lounge cafe and she presented me with a marvellous selection of birthday gift items. It is not my birthday for another week but Sarah is exceptionally efficient. I will describe my gifts via the medium of list format:

One T-shirt with picture of a gurning horse on
2 chocolate bars
Lush solid perfume
Scented candle
Badges with flowers on
Soap in the shape of slices of cake - I asked what would happen if I ate it and was told I would end up with very clean insides
Selection of floral soaps in more traditional square shapes

Not bad at all I'm sure you will agree.After we had lunch we took a number 20 bus to County Rd on an anthrapological fact finding mission. We had been advised by Alan that this region of the city would interest us. We were looking forward to visiting the row of 'mad' shops he had told us about.We knew we had arrived when we spotted a gaunt, blonde streaked woman traipsing along dejectedly in her pyjamas. We alighted the bus and were immediately caught up in the heaving throngs of Saturday shoppers. We were no strangers to squalor, having grown up in Seaforth and Huyton respectively, but things here were taken to a completely new level. Miles and miles of bargain type stores as far as the eye could see. It was hot, humid and nasty. Most people were dressed as though they were on a cheap package holiday in Magaluf. The air hung heavy with a stench that was difficult to define. It had top notes of butter beans and fish, with a musky bottom note of death. We waded through the thick grey atmosphere and had an experimental look in Ethel Austin and then a brief sojourn around Dodo.Sarah declared that she would like to take me to Breck Rd which was 'much worse' so we headed off across Stanley Park, taking care in the grass to avoid dog toffee. It was nice to experience a little green in the heavy mass of derelict buildings. The litter in the lake was also a nice touch. We passed the two football stadiums and then another pyjama clad life form signalled our arrival at Breck Rd. It was difficult to do any shopping in this region as most of the store fronts were boarded up or shuttered down. The only places open were tanning shops and an amusingly titled refreshment establishment called the 'BRECKfast cafe'. It was nice to see that even in such an area of grim poverty, the traditional Liverpool sense of humour was still apparent. There were a couple of other mirthful shops too, the 'Hairs to you' hairdressing salon and a very articulately named sandwich store called 'The Butty Shop'.I was feeling in need of some liquid refreshment after this energetic hike and so suggested we partake of beverage at a greasy spoon type cafe near to the Home Bargains. It had 70's style plastic benches and tables outside and I suggested it would be very cosmopolitan to sit enjoying a drink outside like they do in Paris. Sarah would not allow this to happen and said she would 'rather die'.We went into the Home Bargains and Sarah nearly bought some bird seed but then decided not to so we left empty handed. We were starting to feel suicidal at this point so at the late hour of 3pm, we decided our day out was over and headed back to town.After she had got off the bus and put 2 fingers up to me, I picked up a few bits from the shops, namely a pack of 12 recycled bog rolls, a new foundation made of minerals that Sarah was raving about and a light bulb of 40 watt edison screw design.I arrived home,spent and sated from yet another great day out.