Laura and the discussion that beauty is a talent

Apparently, someone on the Pussycat Dolls reality show declared recently that beauty is a talent. I thought this was an interesting topic worthy of discussion.

In many ways I agree with this statement and can back this up using myself and Britney Spears as case studies.To start with Britney; it is obvious even to the untrained eye that she is a stunning specimen of womanhood. When she is all glammed up for a concert, premiere or fashion shoot she is gorgeousness personified. I cannot think of a single one of her music videos where she looks anything less that super hot and foxy ( except for maybe 'Gimme More', but then she was going through a difficult time personally and had lost custody of her sons )But take away the make up,on set stylist and hairdresser and what you end up with is nothing more than spotty, scruffy trailer trash. Left to her own devices, Britney is unable to manage her appearance and can easily pass for a cheap hooker. This shows that even if you are born beautiful, it requires some degree of talent to manage this beauty and maintain a flawless appearance to the outside world. In fact, I would argue that Britney seems to have a knack for accentuating all her worst attributes, such as her protruding ears, spotty skin and slightly chunky thighs.

Now take your average person on the street, such as myself. Without make-up,hair dye and styling I look dog rough and could not score more than 2 on the foxometer. However, over the years I have become exceptionally talented at managing the looks God gave me. With only a mere one and a half hours preparation per day and several hundred pounds worth of beauty products a year, I can boost my appearance score to about 7 on the foxometer. With this preparation and minimal costings, I have created beauty out of thin air, which I am sure you will agree is a remarkable talent.It also requires great talent to maintain this artificial beauty and create the illusion that I look like this all the time,even when rising from my pit in the morning.

For your comfort and enjoyment, I will now share my talents with you:

Avoid the sun, it ages the complexion and melts make up into an unattractive mush.
If you have guests staying over, get up one and a half hours before them, so you can get your beauty routine done and be sat looking gorgeous and foxy when they emerge from bed.
Spend a few days or weeks thinking of new outfit combinations. Add witty accessories at every turn to show your imaginative and quirky side.
Never follow fashion, this is for losers. Create your own and make sure your clothes never reveal any undesirable parts of your body.
Never show your cleavage or any leg above the knee. It is important to keep people guessing.
Always smile, laugh and appear interested in others even when you are not the slightest bit bothered with what they are saying. This makes you seem more attractive than you really are.
Have a photo of yourself as your computers desktop background. If you think you are the best thing since sliced bread, then others will too.
Always squeeze spots. The manufacturers instructions state you are not meant to, but beauty does not involve infected lumps of pus on the face.
Always eat delicately, even if you are ravenously hungry. Beautiful women do not scoff their food. Pick small chunks off sandwiches and cakes and place them in the mouth, rather than attacking ones grub. The modern woman does not put her face into food.
Finally never let anyone see or pick up your dirty washing. Beauty is mainly an illusion and so to the outside world, you never have dirty undercrackers.
Squirt yourself liberally with a beautiful and unusual fragrance. Never follow the herd and wear Clinique Aromatics Elixir or any fragrance that has a 2 bit celebrities name behind it such as Mariah Carey.

I hope this helps all of you who wish to become talented in the art of beauty. Just try my tips and watch yourself go from moose to magnificent in just a few easy steps.